Midnight Quills

Tears threaten to fall,
My heart screams in turmoil,
Pain fills me,
Confusion
At your ambiguous words:
What do you feel?
Because I’ve never felt like this.
I wander blindly;
Kick myself
For feeling this way.
I don’t know what I feel:
It’s painful,
It’s deadly,
It’s heavenly
Ecstasy.
I wish I knew,
Whether or not, I want
To feel this way,
But I don’t know,
And it fills me with anger
At myself
For this confusion.
What am I meant to do?
Tell me what to feel.